Writing a column about naming your fantasy football team is like bringing beer to a friend’s tailgate party. You really think they don’t already have beer? Of course, they have beer. Yet, they’re happy you brought beer — and they intend to drink it all!
No one really needs help coming up with a fantasy football team name. Yet, it’s impossible to not read an article about fantasy football team names. See? You’re reading it now.
Outside of just jumping headfirst into awesome 2022 fantasy team names, we thought we’d share some different ideas surrounding this exercise.
I used to call these “rules” for naming your fantasy team, but who am I to impinge on your right to be sophom*oric, disgusting and offensive!?! Have at it!
Instead, I will offer up ideas on team name possibilities, hoping to widen your horizons and bring you into a new era of a more clean, mature, family friendly league standings page. Leave the cuss words and innuendos behind you! Step over into adulthood! Unless you’re in a league in which that’s highly frowned upon, then carry on.
Here are a handful of suggestions you can mock!
- Don’t name your team “(Your name)’s Team.” That’s lazy. Then again, naming it literally “(Your name)’s Team” is kind of inventive all on its own …
- Choose a city/state/region and a mascot as your team name. You want to be a fake NFL general manager? Come up with a fake team name that resembles the NFL teams.
- Feel free to make pop culture references, tied into a player’s name. Even if you’re digging back to your childhood, these are still fun to consider every year.
- Talk your league’s commissioner into choosing a theme for your league, and all team names must have themed names. Some great themes are “Seinfeld,” “The Simpsons,” “Star Wars” and plenty more that don’t start with “S”!
Before we list off some great-ish team names, here are some fantastic team names our readers at The Athletic have offered up in the comments section through the past few years:
- The Dak Side of the Moon – From Aaron S.
- Jurassic Chark – From Daniel L.
- One If By Lamb, Two If By CeeDee – From Aaron B.
- Stafford Infection – From J Kris S.
Fantasy Team Names Based on 2022 NFL Rookies
Here’s a list of new fantasy team names based off names of some of the top fantasy rookies entering the league:
Breece Hall
- Breece’s Pieces
- Breece is the Word
Drake London
- Drake London Has Fallen
- Drake It ’Til You Make It
Chris Olave
- Olave Garden
Treylon Burks
- The Oregon Treylon
Skyy Moore
- The Rise of Skyywalker
- Skyyfall
The Rest of the Best Fantasy Team Names
- All Barkley, No Bite
- Always Sony in Philadelphia
- Amari Joystick
- Austin Ekeler: Int’l Man of Mystery
- Baby Got Dak
- Bad JuJu
- Baker’s Dozens
- Bateman Begins
- Beats By DeAndre
- Beg, Burrow and Steal
- Belichick Yo’ Self
- Bend It Like Beckham Jr.
- The Beverly Tannehillbillies
- The Big Gronkowski
- Brady Gaga
- Can You Diggs It?
- Catalina Wine Mixon
- Championship! Lockett Up!
- Chark Bites
- Charknado
- Chubbthumping
- Christian MingleCaffrey
- Clyde and Go Tyreek
- Conner Among Thieves
- Country Road, Take Mahomes
- Clam Crowder
- Dak and Yellow
- Dak to the Future
- Dakstreet Boys
- Dalvin and the Chipmunks
- Davante Adams Family
- Davante’s Inferno
- DeShone in 60 Seconds
- Diggs in a Blanket
- Dobbins is a Free Elf
- Edge of Ja’Marrow
- The Etienne Machine
- Evans Help Us
- Fournetteflix
- Freaks and Zekes
- Fresh Prince of Helaire
- Game of Jones
- Georgia Peach Pitts
- Godwin Hunting
- Golladay Inn Express
- Green Akers
- Green Eggs and Cam
- Hangin’ With Amari Cooper
- Hello Kittle
- Helaire Highwater
- Here’s To You, Allen Robinson
- Hooked on a Thielen
- Hot Chubb Time Machine
- Hot Lockett
- Hotel, Motel, Golladay Inn
- How I Kmet Your Mother
- I Gotta Thielen
- It Takes Tua to Make a Thing Go Right
- Jake Fromm State Farm
- Jalen Hurts When I Do This
- Joe Burrow, Tiger King
- Josh Jacobs Jingleheimer Schmidt
- JuJu Train
- Judge Jeudy
- Julio Let the Dogs Out
- Justin Fields of Dreams
- Kamara Chameleon
- Kelce’s Heroes
- Kissing Cousins
- Kittle Corn
- Kittle Giants
- Kittle Litter
- Kobra Kyler
- Krispy Kareem
- Lamar Lamerrier!
- Lamarvel Universe
- Lawrence and Order
- Lights, Kamara, Action!
- Little Red Fournette
- Mahomes Depot
- Mayfield of Dreams
- McLaurin Order
- Miracle Miles Sanders
- The Mixon Administration
- My Kupp Runneth Over
- Murray-Up Offense
- N’Keal a Mockingbird
- Najee Jose
- Natural Born Kyler
- OBJYN
- One Nation, Under Godwin
- Peachy Keenan
- Ridley Me This
- Roethlisberger Helper
- Rollin’ With Mahomes
- Rub-a-Dub-Chubb
- Run CMC
- Saquonce Upon a Time
- Saquontum Leap
- Saved By Odell
- School of Dawson Knox
- Shake ’n’ Baker Mayfield
- Sherlock Mahomes
- Silence of CeeDee Lamb
- Standup Ekeler
- Sunday Sermon
- Super Ja’Marrio Brothers
- Tampa Brady Buccaneers
- Terry McLovin’
- The Tagavailorian
- The Tannehills Have Eyes
- That’s Amari
- Thielen Groovy
- Toyota Kamara
- Trubisky Business
- Tua’s Company, But Three’s a Crowder
- Tua Legit Tua Quit
- Tuafinity and Beyond
- U Fant Touch This
- UnFournetteable
- Waddleburger
- Waiting For Goedert
- Waller World
- Wentz, Twice, Three Times a Lady
- Zeke and Destroy
- Zeke of Nature
- Zeke Squad
(Top photo: Gary Vasquez / USA Today)
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